The loss of a woman marks not only the end of her life, but also the beginning of a new and painful reality for the family members left behind.
Milihate Cokli, the mother of Erona Cokli, who was killed by her former husband in 2024, says she had sought institutional protection for her daughter, but her concerns were not taken seriously.
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The killing of Arlinda Zekaj on October 25, after she had notified all the responsible institutions about the danger facing her, brought back memories of Cokli’s own ordeal.
She recalls one day when she went to the place where Erona worked because, according to her, her daughter’s former partner would not leave her alone even during working hours. At that moment, Erona came outside and hugged her mother.
“Mom, he won’t leave me alone,” she told her.
After this incident, Cokli went to the police to report the threats against her daughter. However, according to her, the response she received from the institutions was disappointing.
She recalls a conversation with an investigator who, Cokli says, asked her what kind of mother she was that she would not let her daughter make her own decisions. Cokli says she left in tears after explaining that Erona was being threatened and that she feared for her life.
“As a mother, I sought help for my daughter, but they passed me around from one place to another like a rag,” she told Radio Free Europe.
Erona’s murder changed the family’s life forever, Cokli says. She now takes care of the son her daughter left behind.
“I have my grandson, whom I consider my son. But without Erona’s smile, the atmosphere at home is not the same as before,” she says.
In addition to the pain of the loss, the mother says she does not feel that justice has been served for her daughter. She considers the 24-year prison sentence handed down to the killer far too lenient.
Cokli is calling on institutions to change the way they respond to women and family members who turn to them for help.
“They should not mock girls or mothers who seek help,” she told RFE.
“I do not want our daughters to be remembered only after they are no longer alive”
Valdete Osmani, the mother of Marigona Osmani, who was killed at the age of 18 in 2021, is making the same demand for protection and institutional accountability.
“I do not want our daughters to be remembered only after they are no longer alive. I want them to be protected, heard and feel safe,” Osmani told Radio Free Europe.
Marigona is part of her daily memories, along with her smile, brown eyes and the dreams she never had the chance to fulfill.
“She was not just a name in the news; she was my daughter,” Osmani told Radio Free Europe.
The family has had to cope not only with Marigona’s absence, but also with repeatedly revisiting the circumstances of her death.
“The judicial process has been very difficult for us as a family because each time we have had to confront what happened to our daughter,” she says.
Osmani is also haunted by the belief that the tragedy could have been prevented. She says the family had sought help from the police before the incident, but was not taken seriously.
“As a mother, it is very difficult to think that you sought help and still ended up losing your daughter,” she says.
She cannot say with certainty whether an institutional response would have changed Marigona’s fate, but she wants every report and concern to be treated seriously and without delay.
“As a mother, I cannot bring Marigona back, but I would like lessons to be learned from her case so that no one else has to go through the pain we are experiencing,” Osmani says.
Six weeks of waiting for Donjeta
Shkëlqim Pajazitaja, Donjeta’s brother, describes the six-week period when the family had no information about her whereabouts as the most difficult time. Donjeta’s body was found in December 2015, while the perpetrator of the murder has still not been identified.
“When she was found, and however she was found, it was a kind of relief for us because we knew that her suffering and mistreatment had now come to an end,” Pajazitaj told Radio Free Europe.
According to him, a faster police intervention during the period of her disappearance might have affected the outcome of Donjeta’s story.
“[If it had been handled] with greater urgency at the time, perhaps we could have Donjeta alive today,” he says.
Pajazitaj says that during meetings with the family, officials from the security institutions told them that Donjeta’s phone signal had been located in the territory of Strellc.
Eleven years have passed, but the family still suspects that not all the actions that could have helped find her in time were taken during that period.
Every report of a woman’s murder brings Donjeta’s family members back to that period, Pajazitaj says.
“The negligence of the institutions is causing women to be murdered today because their voices are not being assessed or taken into consideration,” he says.
He calls on institutions to respond in time and not allow previous cases to be forgotten. According to him, preventing new tragedies requires perpetrators to be punished and institutions to be held accountable for their actions or inaction.
